untitled

It’s raining on me today.

The day started with cold drops of serious news that pushed my forehead down and bent my neck.

I’m broken and hurt and nervous. I want the rain to stop.

This is what it must feel like all the nights that she prays for us. This is what it must feel like when she stands in the gap and calls our names, one by one.

Today, my family is gathered—at her bedside, via cell phone, via Facebook, via IM. All waiting in this same rain, and hoping.

The day is passing full of questions, and it’s only in the last few hours that I’ve started to get it—this rain has purpose: To force my forehead down and bend my neck, so that I may pray.

Happy trails to you, until we meet again....

Dear Reader (all one of you),

I know it's been a while since we've been together, and it's time I tell you honestly that things just aren't working out between us. Before you sob and cry and blame yourself, I want you to know that it's me and not you.

I'm just not good at commitment, dear reader, and the strain of knowing that you're out there, just waiting for a word from me is more than I can bear... (cue violins here)

So, for now, because I know it's best for the both of us, I think we must say adieu, adieu, to you and you and you.

Just Shemika is Just Closed for Business.

Decisions, Decisions

I decided to let the rat fink just fade into that good night with nary a word from me. The silence is gonna kill him and that is good enough for me.

What Would You Do?

If a low-down dirty rat fink pissed you off, would you:

A.  Curse them out via phone.
B.  Curse them out via text message.
C.  Send an eloquent, non-profane, yet dismissive email that makes their gonads shrink up and fall off.
D.  Kill them with silence and never have contact with them again.

Are your stockings hanging by the chimney with care?

Is anyone else having a hard time getting in the holiday spirit? Cause I am. I really am.

I'm not depressed or anything, I'm just having a hard time mustering up the energy to decorate for the holidays. I guess it's because I'm a singleton, and all I really need to get me going is the Jackson 5 Christmas on the jukebox. But I can't hang the Jackson's album cover up as holiday decor! Or can I?

See, I bought all of these ornaments last year in the clearance sales, and I remember being so proud of the tree I was imaging in my mind. Last year, I just knew that I would have my tree up the day after Thanksgiving.

And, yeah, Thanksgiving was 13 days ago.

The most I've done is pull the tub of ornaments out of the closet. And now it's just sitting in my living room mocking me. And did I mention I don't even have a tree? Last year, I just knew that I would go buy a live tree the day after Thanksgiving.

Let's all have silent prayer right now that I can get my tree put up soon so Santa can find his way to my house. I'll also leave the backdoor unlocked in case any of you feel a little elfish and want to come over and help me out.

And hey, if you do come, bring the Christmas tree with you, please.

Caramel Weekend

This weekend I sent this text: "This day has been like a piece of caramel--juicy and soft..and just good."

And it was! It really was. I didn't make myself do one thing.

I slept as long as I wanted. I read books. I took a bath. I didn't answer the phone. I just recharged.... and I may even have had a couple of pieces of caramel and a glass of wine or two (not necessarily together, but I could have if i wanted to--it was my weekend).

And guess what?! It was the best.

There's been a lot going on around me and I messed around and let some of that energy get under my skin. But I took two days and put a stop to it. I got myself back. And I am so glad to see me!

What about you? What have you been up to?

Day 30: The End

Today, I'm thankful to be back. The Thanksgiving Holiday was so good that I had to take an extra day off, just to fully appreciate it all. Just in case you were afraid you missed anything, Here's a short summary of my time-off:

Sleep
Grilled seafood goodness
Wine
Wine
Book
Sleep
Just say NO! to Black Friday
Sweet potato pie
Gumbo
Sleep
Book
Sleep
Football
Margarita
Sleep

It was a delight.

P.S. I realize that I kinda dropped the ball on this Thanking thing the last week or so; but I'm bonus thankful that you all still love me--even though I clearly have narcolespy and (writing) commitment issues.