Nigerian-born, he'd spent time in England, I believe, before he landed here. He was SO my type. His height, his manner, his dress, the way he spoke with the slightest accent. I was so digging him, and couldn't wait until he showed up at my place for our first semi-sorta date.
He'd lost a bet--can't even remember what it was--but the prize was a free car wash to the victor. And so, after weeks of easy conversation and budding attraction, I invited him to my house for the car wash, pizza and drinks.
During the food part of the night, Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome got a little hungry for something other than a pizza slice AND in the worst move ever known to a man, he reached over and shoved my fingers into his mouth--the same mouth he was using to eat pizza and slurp beer. It was....a disaster. His mouth was hot and oily from the food and it just wasn't sexy. The date ended about 5 minutes later, and I never saw spoke to or saw him again.
Until...this past month. He started calling and, for reasons I don't understand myself (okay, I was bored), I eventually agreed to meet him in a public place for dinner and a movie. He laughingly vowed ahead of time to keep his oral fetish to himself and my fingers out of his mouth.
Dinner was great. The movie was just okay. But there was a really sexual scene in it, where this hooker is servicing a dirty cop, and the cop is giving her explicit instructions on how to do it. Slightly awkward for a first date after our history, but we got through it. Or so, I thought.
After the movie, he walked me to my car. Still on his best behavior, he hugged me good night, and I was pleased with the way it all turned out. Until...he pulls me close to him and whispers in my ear: "You should come home with me and let me lick you like in the movie."
I was floored. I was disgusted. I was shocked and surprised. I was PISSED.
I'm never at a loss for words, but outside that theater, nothing came to mind. And so I just turned, unlocked my car and drove away, without ever saying a word.
The last I saw of him, he was standing in the spot where my car had been, looking on as I left him in the dust.
3 comments:
WTH
That really makes you mad when someone is so right, but so wrong @ the same time. The fact that you were willing to give him another chance shows how into him you were, but he did not know how to act. His loss, your gain.
I LOVE THAT! With his boldness if you would have reacted any other way he would have liked it! Ridiculous. Man may look the part but he surely can't play it!
Post a Comment