Winter come hither

I don’t ever need a thermometer to tell me it’s getting cold outside. I know the temps are dropping because I start getting random phone calls from old (and cold) flames. Every year, after the lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer, dudes just start calling me…wanting to see me. Telling me how much they miss me, and how they want to try again. What they really wanna do is lock down a snuggle buddy for the holidays. But I’m hip to the game.

Me and my friend Lynette joke about this all the time. We spend all summer alone, no dates, no prospects…just dinners with each other at Picadilly, and then at the first hint of chill—the phone starts ringing.

Maybe it’s some primal winter survival instinct known only to men. When I start to get cold, I just drag out the heavy blankets and put on some socks. But these guys, when they catch a chill, they whip out the old phone roster and start dialing. Enticing unsuspecting women with dates to the movies and to dinner.

I admit that I’ve fallen for the old winter come-hither a time or two—okay, maybe three times, but definitely, no more than four times. And it was great…pure bliss. Lighting fires and watching movies and wearing his sweatshirt…it was all good from about mid-October until the week before Christmas.

That’s when things start to get a little tricky. He’s trying to figure out how to not buy you a gift, but still get the goods. And you’re trying to figure out if the two of you should wear matching sweaters to Christmas dinner. Faster than you can say Valentine’s Day, he’s gone.

Oh yes, I’m hip to the game.

Sure, you’ll see a resurgence of interest for New Year’s. After all, who wants to go home alone after drinking too much? After that, be prepared to pack it all in along with the Christmas ornaments and your New Year's resolutions. Spring is on the way, Sister Kate. And with the first appearance of buds and tiny green plant shoots, it’s in with the new and out with the you.

Save yourself some trouble this winter….just stock up on some thick socks and send the phone to voicemail when it rings. You’ll be glad you did.