The men all pause

KLYMAXX MEN ALL PAUSE -

I must have a MALE VACANCY sign attached to my head. Everywhere I go these days, I am getting accosted, propositioned, sidetracked and generally adored by the male population.

Not that I’m complaining.  

I will admit that I've maybe...possibly...probably... been disinterested, lazy, nonchalant and too content with my own company for far too long. And, I guess the great matchmaker up above decided it was time to get in my business. Because men are falling outta the sky and landing right in my lap.

Introducing:

The Haute Haitian
Met him on the patio at El Azteca. Tall, slim, dark and dangerous. He’s a New York-based accountant who travels here often for business. His biggest drawback is that he’s a huge fan of textversations. Can we get him to actually pick up the phone and speak into it, rather than letting his thumbs do the talking? Stay tuned.

Pretty Ricky
This one is a blast from the past. We spent a lot of time together in 2006-07. A LOT of time. But then we went to the mountains for a couples weekend, and I realized he would much rather play basketball and watch TV with his little friends than spend QT with me. Fast forward to now and those same boys all have real women in their grown-up/big boy lives. But not him. He calls daily. And swears he never stopped thinking about me and wants another chance. We’ll discuss it over dinner this weekend. (And it’s going to be a very expensive dinner.)

Mr. Self-Involved
He is what happens when you mix way too many cocktails with not enough food at a Halloween party. Plus, he smelled good and was kinda cute. Only problem was, he also thought that he was kinda cute and spent more time looking at himself than looking at me. Met him in October, by February he was a ghost. That was a year ago and now he wants to go out for drinks and make it all up to me. Mirror, Mirror on the wall… he don’t even stand a chance at all.

My Bad Habit
He’s so sweet. And he loves me. But he just can’t get it together (or keep a job).

Big Truck Driver
One day, I was outside my office building waiting on CP to bring me some Girl Scout cookies. He pulls up in this big ole shiny truck, rolls down the window and says, “You wasn’t waiting on me too long, was ya?” That was too clever. I had to give him my number. But I suspect he’s a workaholic, because he’s always at work whenever he calls me. He has asked to see me several times, but again, it’s when he’s at work, so I’d have to stop by on his break.

Wait just a d@mn minute…could he be married?

B.H.M. a/k/a Big Handsome Holy Man
He smelled good. He looked good. And he had been Transformed to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I’m sure by now he’s well on his way to wedded bliss with some girl he met about 20 minutes go.

So, that’s the shortlist. If nothing else, it oughta be an interesting summer.